Complaining About a Colonel
by overly-distracted
Summary: What do you get when you when three military officers and two docors meet in a resturant? Fun of course!


Stargate SG-1 – Complaining about a Colonel  
  
Dr. Daniel Jackson headed down the corridors of the SGC toward the elevator, nodding to Airmen as he walked.  
  
"Daniel! Wait up!" A voice shouted behind him. Daniel stopped and turned around. Sr. Airman Simon Wells was limping slightly toward him. His wound hadn't fully healed but it was healed enough for him to return to active duty. Daniel smiled as the younger man walked slowly up to him.  
  
"Hey. How's Marcie?" Daniel asked shaking Simon's hand.  
  
"Good. She told me to tell you 'hi'." Simon told him as they resumed walking. "I think she likes you." Daniel chuckled.  
  
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked as they stepped into the elevator.  
  
"I haven't decided." Simon told him. The doors opened and Colonel Jack O'Neill stepped in.  
  
"Daniel." The Colonel greeted his teammate.  
  
"Jack." Daniel greeted back.  
  
"What'ch'ya doing?" Jack asked.  
  
"Going home." Daniel said after looking discreetly at Simon who hid a smile. Jack gaped at him and his mouth moved but nothing came out. Daniel looked away and tried not to laugh out loud. Jack shook his head and finally found his voice.  
  
"You're going home? What? Did Sam pay you to leave or something?" He asked.  
  
"Or something." Daniel answered as the elevator doors opened. "See you tomorrow Jack."  
  
"Colonel." Simon said as he followed Daniel out and the doors closed, leaving a very bewildered Colonel behind.  
  
"Home?" Simon inquired.  
  
"Well I couldn't tell him I was going out to actually have fun; he'd want to come along. I need to be away from him for a while. He's very controlling." Daniel explained as they got outside.  
  
"He's a Colonel. He's suppose to be controlling; it's his job." Simon told him as they headed to Daniel's car. A cell phone went off and both men reached into the pockets at the same time and pulled out their respective phones. "It's yours." Simon told, shoving his back in his jeans pocket.  
  
"Hello." Daniel answered his phone. He unlocked his car and he and Simon got in. "No we're just leaving now...I don't know, hang on." Daniel turned to Simon and took the phone away from his ear. "Is O'Malley's ok, or do we want to go somewhere else?" He asked.  
  
"No, O'Malley's is fine. Can you actually still go in there?" Simon answered. Daniel just glared at him and put the phone back to his ear.  
  
"Yes, O'Malley's is fine...not long. 15, 20 minutes tops...alright we'll see you there...bye." Daniel hung up and started his car and pulled away from the mountain.  
  
"Was he calling to check up on us?" Simon asked.  
  
"Yeah. I think he wanted to make sure we were actually leaving." Daniel told him as he turned a corner. O'Malley's wasn't to far away, so it didn't take them to long to get there. Daniel parked and they both got out and went inside.  
  
"Over here guys." A voice said from a table toward the back, near the pool table. They headed over and shook hands with their third companion, Mg. Paul Davis.  
  
"Did you escape ok, Daniel?" Paul asked as they sat down.  
  
"Yeah. I told Jack I was going home. Since that's probably what he wanted me to do, he didn't put up a fuss." Daniel explained as the waitress brought them three beers Paul had ordered in advance.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill was speechless. He couldn't put up a fuss; he didn't know what to say." Simon explained to Paul.  
  
"You don't think he'd be the least suspicious about you going home at 2030?" Paul asked as his drank. Daniel shrugged.  
  
"If he is, it doesn't matter. He's way to controlling and he need to learn that I need a life outside of work."  
  
"He's a Colonel. He's suppose to be controlling; it's his job." Paul said repeating what Simon had said just a little while ago. Simon rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat.  
  
"I told him the exact same thing as we were coming here." He said.  
  
"You need to be controlling back. Tell him your not going to take his crap while your not on a mission. The only time you should listen to him is when you are on a mission." Paul told the archaeologist. "Not that you have to use those exact words."  
  
"I could just not speak to him in English on base." Daniel suggested. It was Paul's turn to roll his eyes.  
  
"What? Are you afraid to confront big, scary, Colonel O'Neill?" He teased.  
  
"Yes, I am. I have no shame in that." Daniel replied. The three of them laughed and finished off their beers. Simon ordered another one but Paul and Daniel didn't since they were the ones that had to drive.  
  
"Uh-oh." Paul said looking around Daniel to the door.  
  
"Please don't tell me that Jack is here." Daniel said closing his eyes.  
  
"Ok I won't tell you. I don't think he sees us, it's kind of dark back here." Paul told him. He watched Jack go to the counter and talk to one of the waitresses. She left and returned with a bag that read "To Go" on both sides. Jack paid her and left without even glancing in their direction. "He's gone. He was picking up 'To Go' food." Daniel visibly relaxed as their waitress came back.  
  
"Can I get you guys anything?" She asked sweetly.  
  
"Uh, I have a craving for chicken wings. You guys want some wings?" Daniel asked the other two at the table. Simon and Paul nodded and Daniel turned back to the waitress.  
  
"A platter of wings half of them spicy, half of them not, please." He told her just as sweetly.  
  
"Coming right up." She flashed them all a brilliant smile and left to the kitchen.  
  
"To bad you're not single, Simon. We could go woman watching." Daniel said.  
  
"You? Woman watching? Now that's something I'd have to see to believe. Have you ever even flirted Daniel?" Paul asked as Simon tried to control his laughing.  
  
"As a matter of fact, yes. I have. I'm not as dull as people may think I am." Daniel retorted.  
  
"Of course you're not dull. You're sitting here with two military guys ordering chicken wings. Half spicy, half not. That's not dull." Paul told him causing Simon to laugh even harder. Daniel and Paul looked at him and then back to each other.  
  
"Are you alright Simon?" Daniel asked. Simon put his hand up as he took deep breaths to stop laughing.  
  
"Woo. That was weird. I haven't laughed that hard for a long time." Simon said after he composed himself.  
  
"Actually, I think you did it last time we went out." Paul told him.  
  
"Here you go boys. Half spicy, half not." The waitress said as she brought them the wings.  
  
"Thank you." Daniel said as she gave them all plates.  
  
"I'll be back in a little while to see if you need anything else." She told them and she left. They each took a few wings and placed them on their plate.  
  
"What is this? Come to O'Malley's night?" Paul asked as he again looked around Daniel at the door.  
  
"What? Who's here now?" Simon asked between bites.  
  
"Major Carter and your Dr. Gardner, Daniel." Paul said as the two women spotted them and walked over. The three men stood in unison and greeted them.  
  
"Hey. What are you doing here, Daniel? The Colonel said you went home. What'd'ya lie?" Sam asked as Simon pulled over two chairs from an empty nearby table for Sam and Sara.  
  
"It's not like I lied completely. I'm going home. After I'm done here." Daniel told them.  
  
"Can I get you ladies anything?" The waitress asked as she returned.  
  
"I'll have a beer." Sam said.  
  
"A water, please." Sara requested, noticing the less than pleased look on the waitress's face after she saw the two knew arrivals to the table that three handsome men sat at. The waitress nodded and left.  
  
"Water? Come on, Sara. Why don't you live on the wild side?" Daniel asked, nudging her.  
  
"I was living on the wild side Daniel. Then I met you." Sara told him.  
  
"Ooohhh!" Paul and Simon said at the same time, and Sam hid a smile behind her hand. Daniel looked at Sara and she gave him an innocent shrug. He shook his head and laughed slightly.  
  
"She just implied that I'm dull." Daniel told his friends.  
  
"Didn't we just have this conversation?" Simon asked before taking a few more wings.  
  
"Yeah, but you guys said I wasn't. She says I am. Which is it?" Daniel asked, wiping his hands off on his napkin.  
  
"I was only kidding, Daniel. You're not dull at all. At least not since you started working with the military." Sara reassured him. Paul and Simon laughed.  
  
"Here you go ladies. Can I get anything else for any of you?" The waitress said as she brought Sam's and Sara's drinks.  
  
"Could we have some more wings please?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Sure." She said back and left to retrieve more chicken wings. The five of them sat in silence for a few minutes before the pleasant silence was shattered with a relatively loud burp. All heads turned to Simon who was trying his hardest not to laugh again.  
  
"It's polite to say 'excuse me' when there are ladies at the table." Daniel told him.  
  
"My wife says that any woman who thinks burping is offensive is not fit to live on this planet." Simon told them seriously. "You don't think it's offensive, do you Dr. Gardner?"  
  
"No, but I would prefer you to say 'excuse me'." Sara said, leaning forward in her chair to look at him around Daniel.  
  
"Alright. Excuse me." Simon said as the waitress brought the wings.  
  
"So, why didn't you invite Colonel O'Neill to come?" Sam asked.  
  
"Because Daniel needs his space from the mother hen." Paul told her. Sam laughed, nearly choking on her beer. "I think he's more of a mother hen now then he ever was. It's probably because Danny here has...well..." Paul leaned forward and lowered his voice and everyone leaned forward to hear him. "died so many times."  
  
"So you're saying it's all my fault." Daniel said as everyone leaned back and laughed. "Yeah, you're probably right." He finally agreed.  
  
The five of them sat and talked and laughed for hours not caring how loud they got. They were just having a good time. Their good time was interrupted, however, by the manager coming and telling them that O'Malley's was closing and they needed to leave.  
  
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm exhausted. And I know at least two other people here have to be at work at the same time I do." Daniel said, looking pointingly at Sam and Simon. "What time is it anyway? Jack stole my watch."  
  
"Gesh. He's got something else to complain about. It's 2345(11:45). I told Marcie I'd be home before midnight." Simon told them, then realized he'd just left himself open for a comeback.  
  
"Why? Will you turn into a pumpkin?" Paul asked seeing the look on Simon's face.  
  
"Yeah. I'll turn into a pumpkin. Paul..." The Sr. Airman shook his head at the Major and everyone laughed.  
  
"Alright. Guess this is good night." Daniel said he shook Paul's hand and hugged Sam and Sara. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He told the girls. "We should do this again."  
  
"Yeah, I agree." Simon asked. Everyone said their goodbyes and went to their respective cars. Daniel pulled out of O'Malley's parking lot and drove Simon home.  
  
"Tell Marcie I said hi, if she still awake. And give baby Janet a kiss for me." Daniel said as Simon got out of the car.  
  
"Will do, Daniel. Thanks a lot." Simon said as he closed the door and walked into his house. Daniel pulled out of the driveway and drove to his apartment. He parked his car and got out, but not before noticing the pick- up truck that was in his guest spot. He groaned as he tried to think of a cover story to tell the ever-questioning Colonel as he walked up the stairs. He looked at his doorknob and sighed. He'd have to get Jack his own key if the older man was going to keep checking up on him. He opened the door and walked in to find Jack asleep on his couch. Daniel pulled a blanket out of his hall closet and laid it over the sleeping Colonel, without waking him up, and went to bed himself.  
  
~ "Daniel? Daniel? Wake up. Time to go to work." Daniel heard a voice say and then he smelled coffee. He opened his eyes to find Jack standing there with a cup of coffee under his nose.  
  
"Jack?" Daniel said slightly confused, then he remembered that he had come home to find him sleeping on the couch.  
  
"Does it usually take you three and a half hours to get home? "Jack asked, handing the coffee to the younger man. Daniel took it gratefully and sat up.  
  
"What time is it?" He asked avoiding the subject.  
  
"Time for you to get up and go to work. Now get dressed, I'll drive." Jack said starting to leave the room.  
  
"That's ok Jack, I can drive." Daniel assured him.  
  
"You sure?" Daniel nodded. "Alright. See you at the base." Jack said leaving the apartment.  
  
~ Daniel dressed quickly and grabbed his stuff and left. He got to the base before Jack, probably because Jack had to go back to his own house and get his stuff, whatever the stuff was he had to get. Daniel got in the elevator and rode it down to level 28. He stepped out and went straight to the briefing room, knowing that SG-1 were scheduled to go on a mission with Simon's team later that day and they needed to know the specifics. He walked in and sat down, placing his folders on the table in front of him. He turned at the sound of someone entering the room and smiled. Sam walked in and sat down across from him. She looked as tired as he felt.  
  
"I guess we shouldn't stay out until midnight anymore." She said.  
  
"I don't get it. We've stay out later then that before, why was last night any different?" Daniel asked as he laid his head down on the table.  
  
"Maybe because we've been getting a little more sleep. I don't know. Maybe it was the beers." Sam tried to reason, lying her own head down on the table.  
  
"Sam, I'm tired, not hungover." Daniel said not even bothering to lift his head.  
  
"Well, this is a sight." Jack said as he entered the room. "What exactly did you guys do last night?" Neither Sam nor Daniel answered and Jack guessed they might have fallen asleep.  
  
"What is wrong with MajorCarter and DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked as he, too, enter the briefing room and saw Sam and Daniel.  
  
"Probably the same thing that's wrong with Wells here." Colonel Reynolds said as he and his team entered. Simon looked almost as tired as Sam and Daniel.  
  
"Alright let's get—Major Carter? Dr. Jackson?" General Hammond stepped over to the two apparently sleeping scientists.  
  
"We're awake." Both of them answered.  
  
"Well then could you please take you heads off the table so we can begin?" Hammond asked. Sam and Daniel complied. "Did any of you three get any sleep last night?" He asked as he noticed Simon.  
  
"I think we got about five hours each." Daniel said and the other two nodded.  
  
"You did know you had to be here early, right?" They nodded. "What exactly were you guys doing that caused you to get so little sleep?" Daniel, Sam and Simon looked at each other.  
  
"Simon and I went to O'Malley's with Major Davis and then Sam and Sara showed up. We didn't leave until the manager told us they were closing." Daniel told them.  
  
"I went to O'Malley's, I didn't see you there." Jack said.  
  
"We were in the back, by the pool tables." Daniel told him rather sheepishly.  
  
"I wasn't invited?" Jack asked trying to sound hurt, but it came out more surprised then hurt.  
  
"There wasn't any reason to invite you. I didn't want to hear 'sir' all night long. And besides Jack, you get really gloomy when you're drunk." Daniel told him. Jack glared at him. "You wouldn't've had fun anyway. We just complained about you most of the night."  
  
The End  
  
~*~ Alright, let me know what you think. Feedback is greatly appreciated. 


End file.
